Party on a Boat

MAUI, Hawaii — As Coast Guard Station Maui’s 45’ reaction Boat (RBM) brings alongside the celebration boat Purple Pineapple, lead boarding officer Boatswains Mate 1st Class Joe Silva rapidly looked around and exclaimed, “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!”

Despite numerous complaints from residents, after many boardings the coast-guard has found practically nothing wrong using this epic party heading down regarding the Purple Pineapple. “I mean it offers nothing at all to do with all the topless ladies or that captain constantly provides us with bottomless Mai Tais, or even that I’ve never attempted molly before.”

Petty Officer Mike Logano stated neither the ship nor the team pose any hazard to community safety “unless you count ripping up a keg of Miller Lite hazardous naturally.”

“We searched all of the alcohol bongs for unlawful contraband by draining them into our …err…bilges, ” Logano stated.

“Nothing seems uncommon, ” declared Seaman Fred Warfel while he zipped up his pants approaching from lower porches. “And in no shape or form had been truth be told there any form of a coke-fueled orgy happening down there.”

You can find more than 40 uninspected vessels making their means inside and out of Maui on a regular basis, though the station seemingly have just boarded Purple Pineapple for the past week. “There’s just some thing fishy about that vessel, I just can’t place my little finger upon it.” Silva said while he stood surrounded by thirty approximately stunning, intoxicated, bikini clad, 21 yr old ladies who have anything for males in uniform.